Christmas advertising, we are told, has “hit a record high” this year, with a unparalleled £6bn being thrown at advertising agencies to produce that perfect television commercial for high street stores.
In recent years, these ads have become less like the 30-second showcase of a few tinselly gifts that they used to be and more a kind of feel-good mini feature film that tugs on our heart-strings so hard that our ventricles end up in our bladders and we need to spend Christmas drinking enough to float them back out again.
Not wanting to miss out on this gravy train, teaching authorities recently asked advertising agencies to “get us in on that John Lewis Christmas misty-eyed pap bandwagon” and make them an advert of similar oily charm.
Subsequently, a number of pitches were made by agencies to try and create an advert that leaves the general public all weeping so hard that they’ll quit their comfortable jobs the very next day and start banging on the doors of initial teacher training providers demanding to “get me some of them teaching hugs”.
Eventually, they chose to take a different route with their campaign, but we’ve managed to get hold of a couple of the speculative scripts, which we are sharing with you below. Enjoy. And have a very merry Christmas.
Pitch #1: ‘Board pens’
Genuinely and deeply unfunny. Can’t believe you have so much time on your hands to write such stuff.
Thanks for your thoughtful feedback, Brian. It’s very kind of you to take time out on Christmas Eve to read my blogpost and share your thoughts with me. Have a great Christmas and a Happy New Year!
Totally my experience! VERY (if sadly) funny. Thank you!
Thank YOU! And have a very merry Christmas.
Made me chuckle! Thank you.
Merry Christmas.
Craig
Reblogged this on The Echo Chamber.