After a six month hiatus, we are pleased to present Vol. 5 of our ongoing glossary. For previous volumes, please follow these links:
APP
/eɪ.piː.piː./
abbrev.
Assessing Pupils’ Progress: in the 2000s, it was decided that formative assessment across the National Curriculum was not nearly time-consuming, convoluted, subjective or inaccurate enough, so the National Strategies developed APP in order to remedy this oversight.
c-word, the
/siː wəːd, ðə/
noun
referring to an expletive that causes great offence and concern to teachers and is often heard in the corridors of schools, this is a euphemistic way of saying ‘consultant’.
engagement ring
/ɪnˈɡeɪdʒm(ə)nt rɪŋ/
noun
a circle of teachers who will defend the right to teach the rise of the Third Reich with emojis.
exercise books
/ˈɛksəsʌɪz bʊks/
noun
material placed in the boot of a teacher’s car to act as ballast for the vehicle.
get-ups
/ˈget-ˌəps/
noun
technical term used as a compulsory replacement for the word days in all schools during the last 2 weeks of any term, e.g., “Only six more get-ups, everyone…”
Han Solo taxonomy
/ˈsəʊləʊ takˈsɒnəmi/
noun
a model that describes levels of increasing complexity in student’s understanding and knowledge of subjects; the model consists of five levels:
1. Never tell me the odds – pure ignorance
2. Fly casual – cursory understanding
3. Great kid, don’t get cocky – a little knowledge is a dangerous thing
4. Laugh it up, fuzzball – solid knowledge
5. Make the Kessel Run in under 12 parsecs – boastful knowledge
hot seating
/hɒt ˈsiːtɪŋ/
noun
what is left behind after a particularly flatulent Year 7 pupil has left your room.
lunchtime
/ˈlʌn(t)ʃtʌɪm/
noun
a period of time during the school day in which teachers are able to attend meetings, hold detentions, receive observation feedback, respond to emails, and perform other administrative tasks; the name originates from an archaic idea that teachers once used this time to eat their lunch.
marksism
/ˈmɑːksɪz(ə)m/
noun
educational methodology which promotes pupils rising up and seizing the means of assessment.
mocksted
/mɒkstɛd/
noun
according to Dante, “the Ninth Circle of Hell is reserved for the undertaking of mocksted inspections”; not only an awful thing in and of itself but also, fittingly, the most ugly word in the English language.
music
/ˈmjuːzɪk/
noun
something that pupils are usually allowed to listen to by their regular class teacher, as mentioned in every single cover lesson that one has to take.
reading for pleasure
/ˈriːdɪŋ fɔː ˈplɛʒə/
noun
a noble aim in education, often enacted by telling children to sit and read for pleasure.
restorative justice
/rɪˈstɒrətɪv ˈdʒʌstɪs/
noun
an approach used in many schools to achieve a resolution for incidents ranging from name-calling to bullying or physical harm of others; a compound noun made up of the words justice, meaning ‘a fair outcome for everyone involved’, and restorative, meaning ‘unlikely chance of this resulting in’.
Rousseau, Jean-Jacques
/ruːˈsoʊ, ʒɑ̃-ʒɑɔ̯k/
noun
Genevan philosopher and, in a roundabout way, inventor of the fidget spinner: blame him.
verbal feedback stamp
/ˈvəːb(ə)l ˈfiːdbak stamp/
noun
initially rejected as “not solving any actual problem” on the BBC television programme Dragon’s Den, this product later found minor success as novelty prank gift alongside the pet rock, the DVD rewinder and shoe umbrellas; it is still unknown whether its subsequent introduction into schools was intended as a continuation of the joke or whether it was actually serious.
working memory
/ˈwəːkɪŋ ˈmɛm(ə)ri/
noun
the part of short-term memory that can hold between 5 and 9 items at any one time: specifically, it can remind pupils to bring to school their iPhone, headphones, makeup, fidget spinner, and a detailed knowledge of every football match from the previous weekend, but it will never contain enough space to remember to bring a pen.
Othmar's Trombone 